The ritual of making friends

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Title: The ritual of making friends

Author: Dale Carnegie

Translator: Mohammad Reza Akbari

Publisher: Ordibehesht

Subject: Success, friendship, psychological aspect

Age category: Adult

Cover: Paperback

Number of pages: 283 p

Language: Farsi

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Description

Dating How to Become a Social Friend Dale Carnegie helps you build confidence, influence and influence, and you will learn how to get others to work with you, without Prevent them from moving in their own direction.

Interacting with others is probably the biggest challenge anyone faces, no matter what your job, goals or aspirations are.

By spending enough time and effort to learn to better interact with the people around us, we can increase our abilities to do whatever we want.

Dale Carnegie was an American author and lecturer on personal development, sales, and public speaking.

He was born into a poor family. As a teenager, Dale had to wake up at 4 a.m. to milk the family cows. He died at his home in New York.

One of Carnegie’s most prominent and important ideas in his books was that we can change the morals of others by changing our behavior toward them.

In a section on the dating friendship micro-book: How to Win Friends and Influence People, you will read:
The direct path that takes us to the hearts of others is to talk about the things that matter most to them, not the things that matter to us.

If you always try to see things from the perspective of others and talk about the things they are interested in, then a lot of people will want to connect with you.

If you can predict what is closest to your listener and talk about the latest developments in that area, then people will be amazed at how much you know about the important issues in their lives and would like to spend hours with them. You talk.

It’s the art of adapting to the people you want to impress.

Review of the book Dating Rite, by Dale Carnegie
Finding a good friend is a basic need for everyone. Everyone wants to feel influential in the lives of their friends. Most important of all is the inalienable right of all human beings to love and be loved.

Dale Carnegie, author of The Rite of Friendship, was one of the first authors to research the subject and write a book that everyone could understand.

A book that is still one of the best-selling and most popular books on psychology and self-knowledge after nearly a century of writing.

Before writing this book, Dale Carnegie realized that people who are successful in their own business do not necessarily have a high level of knowledge about the subject, but it is their high level of public relations that makes them successful in their work.

This was the first spark to write a friendship book. Carnegie had spent many years reading books and biographies of celebrities;

He focused on human relationships and their behaviors, and in 1936 he wrote the book The Rite of Friendship.

Summary of the book of dating ritual
The book of dating rites has a fluent and understandable tone. This simple tone makes reading the book attractive and enjoyable.

Dale Carnegie begins the book without any introduction.

He first quotes short stories and narratives from celebrities such as Alcapone and Togen Crowley 2, famous American criminals, and concludes from these narratives that humans should never blame themselves;

As a result, they are never allowed to criticize anyone.

“Criticism is a dangerous act, because valuable pride hurts the person being criticized, and as a result, it creates resentment,” says Dale Carnegie about criticism.
Dale Carnegie, who spent more than ten years studying the life of US President Abraham Lincoln for his other book, The Unknown Lincoln. At the beginning of his book, he tells the story of Lincoln’s life.

This story shows the reader that even great people do not make decisions when they are angry, and allow at least twenty-four hours to pass until their anger subsides.

Although this is very difficult in some cases, adults have to achieve this ability. “The greatness of great men is evident in the way they treat their subordinates,” says Thomas Carlyle.

A Review of the Chapters in the Book of the Rite of Friendship
Carnegie divides his book into six main sections. The first part of this book is called “Basic Principles of Treating People”;

This section consists of three main chapters, in each of which Dale Carnegie gives a comprehensive explanation of human interactions.

The second part of the book of dating rituals are called six ways to gain popularity. This section, which has six chapters, describes ways to attract the love of others.

This chapter is the best chapter of the book for the readers, it has very interesting and effective solutions that you can use in your daily life.

In the last chapter of this section, Dale Carnegie reminds us of a point that may have been forgotten these days. “Do it sincerely and honestly so that someone else feels important,” he says.

To prove this point, Carnegie narrates a story from Disraeli, one of the former British prime ministers, in which the emperor says only one sentence at the end of the story: “Everyone, talk about yourself; “He listens to you for hours.”
Part 3: “Twelve Ways to Get Others With You.” Is called, and is narrated in twelve chapters. Dale Carnegie describes the impact of positive competition in this area.

A story from a steel plant tells the story of a positive competition between morning and night shift workers that saved the plant from bankruptcy.

The fourth section of the book, in nine chapters, describes “nine ways to get others involved without getting upset or angry.”

Carnegie strongly opposes criticism, but says in the first chapter of this book: “If it is necessary to criticize someone, start like this; Praise him first and then criticize him.

This method makes the criticism less bitter and painful for the critic.
The fifth section of the book is “Some Miraculous Letters,” in which Dale Carnegie puts letters so that his readers can feel the changes in the relationship.

The sixth and final section of this book is called “Seven Important Tips for Family Welfare”. This section, which has seven chapters, first examines the problems of married life and then offers solutions.

About the Author of Dating Rite: Dale Carnegie
Dale Carnegie was born in November 1888 in Maryville, Missouri. Born in a small town with poor families, he has been interested in human relations since he was a child.

That’s why most of his books are about human relations. He began writing in 1915 with the book The Rite of Speech.

“The Rite of Friendship” and “The Rite of Life” are his other works that Mahnaz Behrangi has translated into Persian.

Dale Carnegie was one of the first writers to research and write about self-knowledge and improving one’s life.

“I thought about writing this book when I realized that people want to influence each other more than anything else,” Carnegie said of the book Religion or Friendship.

Since no book had been written on the subject of friendship until then, Carnegie decided to write his first book on how to influence others and how to influence others.
“There’s only one way you can change the behavior of others, and that is to change the way you look at them,” says Dale Carnegie.

“Our doubts and fears, and the lack of a good source for learning, limit us,” he said. For this reason, he formed his first educational circle.

In this forum, he spoke about topics such as fear of lecturing, fear of communication, and so on. In 1954, he founded Dale Carnegie & Partners;

An institution that has held thousands of classes and courses on self-knowledge and leadership. The Dale Carnegie Institution has more than 2,700 students who teach at more than 85 countries.

Sentences from the book of friendship rituals
The desire to be important and to be respected by others is one of the most important differences between humans and animals. Of course, there is a feeling of superiority in animals, but its nature is different from what is in humans.

Let me share a memory with you so that you can better understand the issue. When I was a rural boy in Missouri, my father raised goats and cattle.

We occasionally displayed our white foreheads at rural livestock fairs across the West and won first prize several times.

My father used to stick blue medals on a white satin cloth, and every time friends came to our house, he would take it out and take one end by himself and give the other end to me, and we would show the blue medals to the guests.
At that time, cows did not care about the awards they won, but my father cared a lot about them, because without a doubt, if there was no insatiable thirst for being important and admired by others among human beings, civilization would not have emerged with these remarkable honors. Without this feeling, we were like other creatures.

It was this thirst for prominence and admiration that led an illiterate and poor grocery store to read some of the law books he had found at the bottom of an old barrel and bought for 50 cents.

You may have heard the name of this grocery store. Yes, his name is Abraham Lincoln.

Excerpts from the text of the book Rite of Friendship
The direct path that takes us to the hearts of others is to talk about the things that matter most to them, not the things that matter to us.

If you always try to see things from the perspective of others and talk about the things they are interested in, then a lot of people will want to connect with you.

If you can predict what is closest to your listener and talk about the latest developments in that area, then people will be amazed at how much you know about the important issues in their lives. They like to talk to you for hours.

It’s the art of adapting to the people you want to impress.
There is a law in the German army that when a soldier is insulted, he has no right to complain immediately. But at least twenty-four hours later, when his anger subsided, he could file a complaint.

If someone violates this rule and immediately complains, he will be punished.

I think the implementation of such a law in personal life can be beneficial.

Because in many cases, it can prevent parents from grumbling, nodding at their spouses, or slandering their subordinates by their employers.

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