It’s OK That You’re Not OK


Title: There is nothing wrong with not being happy

Author: Megan Devine

Translator: Seyed Sara Zarghami; Arezoo Moomivand

Publisher: Milkan

Language: Farsi



It’s OK That You’re Not OK a book if you are not happy, written by Megan Devine, on the subject of losing loved ones and how to deal with it. This book makes you reconsider love, loss and heartbreak.

In this book, Megan Devine talks about her personal experiences and based on these experiences, she explains to you how to deal with mourning. Of course, in this book, Devine speaks based on the culture of the American people, but the generality of the discourse that seeks to convey it is also consistent with our culture.

The author worked as a private psychotherapist for many years, helping others deal with their problems until he lost his wife and realized that all the advice he had given to patients to date had not been effective;
Because he had not known anything about sorrow until that time and had not touched it closely. After the death of his wife, he collaborated with thousands of mourners, and through this, he gained a lot of information and experience in dealing with this problem, and the result of the experiences of these meetings and his theories is the forthcoming book.
The book has a different perspective and encourages you to reconsider your relationship with love, loss, heartbreak, and society.

There is nothing wrong with the selected sentences of the book if the mood is not good:
– There is nothing wrong with mourning. Mourning is a natural extension of love, a healthy and wise response to loss. The fact that mourning has a bad feeling does not make it bad. Just because you feel crazy does not mean you are crazy.

– Everyday life imposes many sorrows and losses on us. There is still much work to be done in order to hear the voice of each of us, in order to value and respect the suffering we have in our hearts and the losses we face. However, this book does not discuss ordinary daily losses.
– Every mourning you carry is important, accept how bad it is, how hard it is. It is really scary and terrifying and impossible to survive in it.

When a loved one has just died, what does it matter that our cultural patterns of mourning are flawed? Who cares? It’s your business, not yours.

There is nothing wrong with a part of the book, if the mood is not good, we read:
When a sudden death or accident happens in the course of your life, everything changes. Even when you expect it, death or loss is still a surprise. Everything is different now. The life you have been waiting for disappears and smokes and goes up in the air. The world is falling apart on your head and nothing seems logical anymore. Life was normal and now whatever it is, it is not normal. People who used to be wise are now chanting slogans and advising you and trying to make you happy. They try to take your pain away from you.

You did not think so. Time has stopped. Nothing seems real. Your mind can not stop re-imagining events in the hope of a different outcome. The ordinary, everyday world in which others still live is cruel to you. You can not eat anything (or eat as much as you can). You can not sleep (or sleep all the time). Every device in your life becomes artificial to you, a symbol of life as it was and as it could be. There is no place around you that has not been touched by this loss.
During this time of misery, you hear all sorts of things about your grief: “He does not want you to be so upset,” “Everything has a reason,” “At least this time he has been in your life,” “You are strong and intelligent, and You will come out of this tragedy, “” This experience will make you stronger, “or” You can always try again and have another partner in your life, bring another child, and find a way to turn your pain into something beautiful, useful, and good. ” “Convert.”

Slogans and congratulations do not cure pain. In fact, this kind of support only makes you feel that no one in the world understands you. This pain is not like a small cut with paper! A personality crisis that is not! It did not have to happen to realize what was important, to find the purpose of your life, or even to realize that someone really and deeply loved you!

The only way forward is to tell the truth about mourning: your absence is really as bad as you think. And people, no matter how hard they try, really react to the fact that you think they are missing you. You’re not crazy, something insane has happened. And you, like any other wise person, have reacted to it.

There is nothing wrong with not feeling happy or facing grief and loss in a culture that does not tolerate these. It is a work by Megan Devine about dealing with grief and crisis of loss.

Megan Devine, who has deeply experienced love and loss, is a strong and compassionate companion. He, who has lost a loved one himself, knows that life will change forever and there is no way to cope with it and life goes on.

Loss and grief change our perspective. Our world has changed forever and there is no way we want to go back to our previous world. Your only inner task is to create a new and accurate plan. “We’re not here to relieve our pain, we’re here to heal it,” says Megan smartly.

There is nothing wrong with books if you are not happy
There is nothing wrong with Megan Devine in her book, if she is not happy, about the culture of mourning and the lack of people in American society with this issue. This book introduces a new approach to dealing with grief. In this book, he teaches the difference between “relieving pain” and “healing pain.”

This book provides a way to review our relationship with grief and encourages readers to see their grief as a natural reaction to death and loss, not a misplaced situation that needs to change. This book shows readers how to live skillfully and lovingly during their mourning period. But this book is not just for the afflicted: it wants to make things better for everyone. We will all experience grief and loss at some point in our lives. We will all know someone who lives in great loss. Lack of global experience.

There is nothing wrong with reading a book, if we are not happy, to whom do we recommend it?
If you have recently experienced a loss or someone close to you and your loved one is suffering from the pain of loss, read this book and give it as a gift to your loved one.

There is nothing wrong with a sentence from a book if you are not happy
The first weeks and months, after a sudden and unexpected death, are themselves a separate world. At that early post-collision time, few things comfort you. Things that used to be comfortable in the past become ineffective under this kind of mourning. Words spoken with the intention of consolation only hurt. Encouragement is useless. Clichéd slogans never help.

Persistence in the early stages of mourning involves a small environment. This is not a normal time and normal rules do not apply to it. In grief, especially in the early stages of grief, you have little energy to use any tool, and the tools used to improve the situation are often annoying rather than helpful.
Slogans, self-help, well-meaning advice, and suggestions are meant to get you out of pain. Whenever we talk about our pain, there is someone there to help relieve it. In this model, pain is a bad thing and should be eliminated; But your pain is strong and will not go away any time soon.

It’s OK That You’re Not OK
Foreword by Mark Nepo
Part One: The situation is as ridiculous as you think
Chapter One: The Reality of Loss
Chapter Two: The Second Half of the Sentence; Why do soothing words convey a bad feeling?
Chapter 3: The problem is not with you, it is with us; Our mourning patterns are flawed
Chapter 4: Emotional Illiteracy and the Culture of Blame
Chapter Five: A New Form of Mourning
Part 2: What to do with your mourning?
Chapter 6: Living in the reality of loss
Chapter 7: You Cannot Solve Mourning, But You Do Not Have to Suffer
Chapter 8: How (and Why) to Survive?
Chapter 9: What Happened to My Mind? Facing the physical effects of mourning
Chapter Ten: Mourning and Anxiety; Calm your mind when faced with something irrational
Chapter 11: In the meantime, what role can art play?
Chapter Twelve: Find a picture of your own recovery
Part 3: When family and friends do not know what to do
Chapter 13: Should You Teach Them or Ignore Them?
Chapter 14: Strengthening Your Support Group; Help them help yourself
Part 4: The way forward
Chapter Fifteen: The Next Tribal; Companionship, true hope, and a forward-looking path
Chapter 16: Love is the only thing that remains
Appendix: How can I help a grieving friend?

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