Introducing the book When I say no, I feel guilty: how to cope using the skills of systematic assertive by Manuel Smith
Objecting to various issues can impose unpleasant consequences on a person and make him feel guilty. Determination and openness to protest is an issue that needs to be addressed in the cultural, economic and psychological context. In The Psychology of Protest, Manuel Smith analyzes this issue from different perspectives, and then critiques hegemony and offers solutions to counter it.
کتابAbout the book Psychology of Protest by Manuel Smith
Is protest a tool to serve humanity or a means to create unrest? Protest leads to oppression or brings justice. Is the protest behavioral childish or adult? In today’s civilized world, dialogue is considered a very important tool for communication that can be used to improve the anomalies of society such as domination of individuals.
Determination is also one of the important concepts that Manuel Smith has explained in detail and talked about its necessity in different life situations. According to him, in order to have a healthy society free from the scourge of domination, we must increase the culture of determination. In his book, he explores this issue from childhood. For example, when the parents treat the child very confidently like a commander, it causes the child to be instilled with a lot of demands and he can do anything in the future.
In The Psychology of Protest, Manuel Smith addresses an important issue. You may have experienced the same feeling: “When I say no, I feel guilty.” Where is the root of this feeling? Do we always have to try to please others? Do we not have the right to say no to the irrational demands of others in order not to feel guilty? Perhaps all these feelings go back to the fact that we do not have the ability to say no and are not familiar with the psychology of protest. what’s the solution?
This book helps us to develop some important abilities in ourselves: Acquiring verbal skills to fight against the domination of others, especially when we have to say no. Strengthen decision-making power and come to believe that we are responsible for our own lives and that we must make decisions for our own lives. Preventing the future domination of others. Say goodbye to guilt and anxiety whenever we express our true opinion. Fighting the misconception that leads to equating assertiveness with arbitrariness and ultimately building healthy and constructive relationships.
A Review of the Chapters in the Psychology of Protest
Inherited reactions of survival
The right of decisiveness
The first lesson of assertiveness: persistence
Calculated social relations
Dealing with the Great Dominant: Criticism
Get rid of the idea of domination from friends and acquaintances
Dr. Manuel Smith, a well-known American psychotherapist and author, was born in 1946 in Brooklyn, New York. Smith completed his bachelor’s and master’s degrees at the University of San Diego and earned his doctorate from UCLA. He currently serves as an Assistant Professor of Clinical Psychology at UCLA. Dr. Smith has conducted extensive research on social psychology, learning, logical and irrational fears, psychology, and sexual function. His articles have been published in prestigious journals, including the Psychology Report and The Journal of Experimental Psychology. He is a member of the American Psychological Association and a member of the Psychological Research Association. Smith has spoken at numerous seminars and conferences about his area of expertise.
Translation of the book Psychology of Protest into Persian
Mehdi Qaracheh Daghi was born in 1326 in Kashan. He can be considered one of the pioneers of translation in the field of economics and psychology. Qaracheh Daghi is a prolific and active translator who has translated 500 books in various fields such as psychology, economics, business, and children and adolescents. Her most notable works include translations of the formulas for “success formula”, “The best period of a woman’s life” and “Creativity and problem solving”. Darsa Publications has published the book “Psychology of Protest” translated by Mehdi Qaracheh Daghi and made it available to those who are interested.
Why read the Psychology of Protest?
The book Psychology of Protest is in the category of books on psychology and lexicography. The topics covered in this book are relative and can be useful to some people and not useful to others. Protest psychology is an educational psychotherapy book that teaches people “practice of assertiveness and assertive behavior” and has a significant effect on strengthening mental health. By studying this work, you can achieve the following results:
Acquire verbal skills to combat the domination of others.
Strengthen decision-making power and that ultimately we are the ones who have to decide for our lives.
Prevent the future domination of others.
Loss of unwarranted guilt Fear anxiety when saying no.
Achieving physical and mental health “and healthy relationships.
Combating the misconception that assertiveness and protest are in fact arbitrary; It is selfishness and arrogance.
This book is suitable for adults. The number of pages of the printed version of the book is 288 pages, which you can read in 14 days by reading it for 20 minutes a day.
The book Psychology of Protest is one of the largest and longest books on the subject of psychology. This book is a good choice for people who have more time to study and want to spend more time studying in the field of psychology, especially lexicography.
In a part of the book When I say no, I feel guilty: how to cope using the skills of systematic assertive, we read:
Almost twenty years ago, when I had just finished my military service, I met a young professor named Joe in college who was both personable and loved his job. I was one of his students. He spoke frankly. He was serious and disciplined, rejecting students’ basic beliefs from the conscious and thoughtless psychological system. He spoke about mental injuries and even natural categories related to human beings, thoughts, behaviors or motivations that were not to the liking of the students. They expected something else from him.
But instead of dealing with complex theories of human behavior, he looked at the issue from another angle. With the help of simple hypotheses. He explained the material and expected us not to criticize his views unnecessarily. He believed that ninety-five percent of what is considered the theory of scientific psychology. It is nonsense and should be thrown in the trash. He believed that in order to find mental functions, one should try for years and accumulate knowledge.
In my opinion, today, after many years, the correctness of Joe’s ideas still remains the same, because the complex mystical explanations and intellectual discourses are more behind the scenes and, finally, a kind of rhetoric; To understand the subject of psychology, the discussion of why is not very useful; What matters is what happens. For example, when I have an illness. We see that the cause of his unhappiness should be sought in his behavior and work, and it should not be so important to discover why he does this and that.
In those days, the young professor believed that versatile psychologists were not omniscient. He believed that psychologists were not necessarily aware of all the intricacies of the human psyche, adding: “I do not know students who ask me questions and do not know the answers. I hate.” Joe behaved the same way outside of the classroom, even though he was a professor of behavioral ethics. He had problems with the people of his community, and that was in addition to the troubles I was creating for him. “Students all complain that they have a lot of personal problems,” he often said. How can they not get out of these troubles? “Trapped is the salt of life, and without it, life has no meaning.”
The book Psychology of Protest by Manuel Smith helps us gain the power to fight the domination of others and to say no to unreasonable demands. You are holding this book with the mental translation of Mehdi Qaracheh Daghi.
In today’s civilized world, we no longer use weapons of war or escape, but use them in dialogue. When I was a child, I was advised not to fight with other children and not to cling to them. However, they advised me to be brave and not to openly run away from the enemy. Most middle-class children in Western societies are raised to be passive in the face of adversity: “Do not answer” or, “Let him say whatever he wants.” These reactions are passive. We may get angry to the point of insanity and yet not express our anger. Instead, we keep quiet and grit our teeth in anger.
An example of such a person was twenty-year-old Diane, a typist who came to me for treatment. He reacted passively to his boss’s unreasonable demands, appeasing him instead of raising the issue openly or expressing his displeasure, for example. Instead, he retaliated by making the coffee he could. Either he was pouring coffee, or his coffee was too bright or too light. When he was supposed to stay in the office longer and type a report quickly, he mistyped the words so that it took twice as long to type a letter.
Diane used a passive approach instead of an overt one. Although he did not give excuses to protest to his boss, he sabotaged as much as he could. As you can guess, Diane’s passive attitude caused more unhappiness than Mr. Boss himself.
If Diane wanted to escape the problem permanently with a passive approach, it would not be long before her chosen method would completely fade and become ineffective; The same fate befell him with passive anger towards his boss. Either he had to face the problem of settling the property or he ran away from the divorce plan. As the treatment sessions continued, Diane realized that her passive approach was in fact one of the main reasons for her disagreement with her husband.
If you and I use only passive methods in our life together and in dealing with troubles, our work may fall apart.
If we react in a war or flight manner, we are in a mentally unfavorable situation, and thus anger or fear takes over our being. With this attitude, we not only become angry or scared, but we also fail to communicate with people, and as a result, depression, despair, sadness and despair rule over us. The three states of anger, fear, or depression are the emotions inherited from us during the struggle for survival, and are in fact the common feelings that patients have when they see a psychiatrist.
Who do we recommend The Psychology of Protest to?
The book Psychology of Protest is for all those who like to be dominated by people and want to find the right way to protest to other people against unreasonable demands.
2- Introducing the book When I say no, I feel guilty: how to cope using the skills of systematic assertive in Aparat