The gift of not being perfect

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Title: The gift of imperfection

Author: Bernie Brown

Translator: Akram Karami

Publisher: Saberin

Subject: Self-acceptance, self-esteem

Age category: Adult

Cover: Paperback

Number of pages: 165 pages

Language: Farsi

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Description

The Gift of Incompleteness by Bernie Brown, one of the New York Times bestsellers, offers ten basic tips to help you accept and love your truth.

About the book of incomplete grace:
Many human beings expect from themselves without considering the true power and capacity of their existence, and this is due to the perfectionist nature that is institutionalized in these people. Perfectionism can be both negative and positive, and the truth is that in today’s world, most of its negative and destructive forms are seen in society. Modern man strives for a better life, but never reaches that ideal life, and this makes him depressed and sad.

In such situations, The Gifts of Imperfection teaches you to accept your circumstances and enjoy life despite all the shortcomings you have, by providing real-life examples, narratives, and stories from people’s lives. Do not forget that the desire for a perfect life and extreme perfectionism is an obstacle in your life, and Brene Brown helps you to get rid of such thoughts forever, and instead of perfectionism, characteristics such as self-love, Increases the spirit of resistance, happiness, increased creativity, and so on.

The book of the gift of imperfection with a few practical and simple principles will change your personality and your lifestyle forever, and to succeed in this path, it is better to consider reading this book as a journey in which you must use your courage and kindness to enjoy its gifts. do. Remember that someone who shows love and affection for himself and the world around him deserves a happy life.
Of course, in order to convey all the concepts he intends, Brown focuses on a middle-aged woman who is involved in a midlife crisis. This woman has struggled with many problems in life and now she feels more calm and stable in her being. His life is revived and he communicates with those around him in a new way. Another important achievement of hers is that he finally comes to the realization that he is on his own and cares about himself regardless of the opinions of others.

Who is the book of the gift of imperfection?
As you read this book, you will find that many of your ideas, beliefs, goals, and actions are wrong; So if you want to have a better and happier life, do not miss the gift of not being perfect.

Learn more about Bernie Brown:
The author was born in 1965 and now teaches research at the University of Houston. To this day, Bernie Brown has written fascinating works on shame, courage, vulnerability, and empathy that have been well received. Brown is considered one of the best-selling writers of the New York Times, and among his works can be mentioned a lot of courage, leadership courage, rising authority, and so on.

Selected sentences of the book of incomplete grace:
Virtues such as courage, compassion, and connection are institutionalized in us through daily practice.
Wake up bells are not uncommon throughout life, but we quickly drown out these sounds.
– Life is not to be chosen in a period of time and then set aside, but it is a flow.
Accepting weaknesses is risky, but it is never more dangerous than ignoring love, a sense of belonging and happiness.
Accepting the story of your life and loving yourself is the most courageous thing we can do in our lifetime.

In a part of the book, the blessing of not being perfect, we read:
Recently, the principal and president of the Parents and Teachers Association of a large elementary school invited me to speak to a group of parents about the relationship between resilience and boundaries. At the time, I was collecting information about nurturing heart-shaped thoughts and ways of life in schools. So I was very excited about this opportunity. I did not know what adventure I would enter.

I entered the conference hall. A strange feeling of parenthood was conveyed to me. They seemed anxious. I asked the principal why, but he just shrugged and left. The president of the Parents and Teachers Association also had little to say. I said to myself maybe I’m nervous and tried to forget it.

I was sitting in the front row and the principal was introducing me. Introduction before a speech is always unpleasant and painful for me. Someone presents a list of my accomplishments, while I try not to step up and leave the hall. Of course, this was the introduction of a new experience. I had never been introduced like this before.
The school principal said something like this: “You may not like what you hear tonight, but you should listen for the sake of your children. Dr. Brown is here to make a difference in our school and our lives. “Whether he likes it or not, he misleads us.”

He seemed quite angry with that loud and aggressive voice. I felt like I was invited to the wrestling ring, just a strong opponent and a few spotlights.

Critique of the book of the gift of imperfection
Many people expect more from themselves than they are capable of, which stems from perfectionism. Perfectionism has two different negative and positive aspects, but the negative aspect is that it has become more prevalent in the modern world. This trait causes people to try to do everything at their best in life while it is impossible because achieving unattainable ideals causes us to lose our self-esteem and become depressed. Relying on his own knowledge, Bernie Brown, a researcher at the University of Houston, has written The Gift of Incompleteness: Abandoning the Ideal and Accepting the Real Self, which includes strategies for escaping perfectionism, judgment, and comparison.

About the Book Imperfection is a perfect way to accept your true self
The gift of imperfection: Abandoning the Ideal and Accepting the Real Self is the result of Bernie Brown’s years of research and education, published in August 2010. The book, originally titled The Gifts of Imperfection, became one of the New York Times bestsellers and sold nearly two million copies. The main content of the book is about accepting our true selves, and in ten ways it advises that it is better to love ourselves as we are.

The book of the gift of imperfection with the narration of allegories, anecdotes as well as real stories of people’s lives teaches the reader to live satisfactorily by accepting his conditions. Perfectionism and a flawless life act as barriers to the enjoyment of life, while Bernie Brown works in the areas of “cultivating originality,” “cultivating self-compassion,” “cultivating a spirit of resilience,” “cultivating happiness and gratitude,” and cultivating “Intuition and Faith”, “Cultivation of Creativity”, “Cultivation of Peace and Calm” and “Cultivation of Meaningful Work” in the book express the imperfection of how to enjoy life by observing a few simple and practical principles.

An overview of the practical keys of the book of incompleteness
The book considers the gift of imperfect life as a journey during which people can enjoy courage and compassion. A happy life deserves one who expresses love and affection for himself and gets rid of the influences of others’ thoughts and speeches with self-confidence.

“I think happiness is a step beyond happiness,” says Bernie Brown of the impact of happiness on greater productivity in life. Happiness is a kind of atmosphere or mood that sometimes, when you are lucky, you spend some time in it, while happiness is a light that fills you with hope, faith and love.
Happiness depends on external circumstances and events, and becomes stronger and weaker as circumstances fluctuate. Happiness, on the other hand, seems to be connected to the soul, and gratitude is closed to the heart. The true experience of happiness is this very deep and sensitive spiritual pleasure and feeling. A happy life does not mean that you are always immersed in the light of happiness, because it becomes unbearable in the end. In my opinion, a happy life is made up of moments that are subtly intertwined with a rope of trust, gratitude, inspiration and faith.

About Bernie Brown is not a perfect gift writer
Brené Brown American writer and researcher Brené Brown was born in November 1965. She completed her social work studies at the University of Houston and devoted her life to studying psychology and self-knowledge. She has written numerous books on audacity, shame and empathy and was named one of the top figures in 2009 by Houston Women’s Magazine. He also received several awards from the local faculty, and in 2016 received a $ 2 million budget to train more students in social work.

In addition to her writings, Bernie Brown is known for her motivational lectures. His speech entitled
“The Power of Vulnerability” was launched in 2010 through the global network of Ted conferences, which had more than 42 million visitors. This lecture is one of the most visited lectures in the Ted series, which attracted a lot of attention from those interested in the field of psychology. “Listening to Shame” is another of Bernie Brown’s keynote speeches in March 2012, which, like Bernie Brown’s other activities, was successful and has so far attracted more than a dozen million visitors.

Bernie Brown’s other books translated into Persian include “Present Life, How Our Shortcomings and Disadvantages Become the Gifts of Our Lives,” “The Resilient Life, How to Stop Fighting with Our Real Self and Achieve a Feeling of Sufficiency and Happiness.” And “courageous living, courage, vulnerability and lifestyle change, love, parenting and leadership.”
Bernie Brown currently lives in Texas, USA and communicates with fans and readers of his works through his personal website. Through this page, he launched an online book reading program in 2009, the gift of incompleteness, over eight weeks. The program, called “Less Shame, More Happiness,” was very successful, and Bernie Brown’s companions contacted him via email from around the world. This website contains all the books, lectures and research articles by Bernie Brown that are very useful for his students and fans of psychology. A biography with family photos of him and his two sons is also shared on this page.

Persian translation of the book is not a perfect gift
Following the publication of The Gift of Incompleteness in the United States, the book was quickly translated and published in other countries. In Iran, the book was translated into Persian by Akram Karami and published by Saberin Publications in 2015.

Akram Karami, the translator of The Gift of Incompleteness, has been very active in translating psychological works, and has written many books, including “Internet Addiction, Getting Rid of Internet Addiction, and Software Games,” by Kevin Roberts, “Essential Ends,” by Henry Cloud. And “The Keys to Knowing and Treating Girls” translated by Peg Strip into Persian.

In a part of the book, we read about the blessing of not being perfect
We also escape from the darkness by escaping from the darkness. Another of my unexpected research findings was that we can never act freely in denying and escaping our annoying emotions. Our emotions are along a continuum and we escape from darkness to light. In the past, when we wanted to alleviate or avoid suffering and vulnerability, I subconsciously deprived myself of experiencing positive emotions such as happiness. When I look back I see that the discovery of no truth could have changed my life so much. Now I can touch happiness, although the same experience exposes me to vulnerability and weakness. In fact, I expect to be weak and vulnerable.

Happiness has thorns like dark emotions. Intense love for a person, firm belief in one thing, complete conflict in a life that has no guarantee, are all options that can lead to suffering and vulnerability. When we lose our ability to endure sadness, we lose joy. In fact, research on addiction shows that in strong positive experiences as well as painful ones, we can return.
We can not make a list of annoying emotions and say that I do not want to face them, or vice versa, write a list of positive emotions and say, “I want to experience all this.” It is easy to visualize the cycle that this choice can create: I do not experience much happiness, so I do not have the resources and resources to use it in adversity, and therefore adversity will be accompanied by more suffering, and that is why I find myself unconscious. I am unconscious, I can not feel happiness and this cycle repeats.

In the course of my work I have found that happiness and joy are different in experience. “Being thankful and happy does not mean we are happy all the time.” Sometimes, to be more precise in my comments, I would ask, “How can a person be happy and grateful, but not happy?” The answers were similar, and they all had the same theme: “Happiness depends on circumstances, but happiness depends on attitude and gratitude.”

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1- Introducing the book  on YouTube

2- Introducing the book  in Aparat

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